12.5 years ago if someone would have told me life would continue, that I could breathe through the gut wrenching pain of holding your lifeless body, that I’d find exquisite joy in life again. I would have rolled my eyes at them, and continued bawling. I just wanted to die with you.
I miss with every fiber in my body the weight of your sweet 5lb 3oz tiny body. I miss so much when I stop and take a breath and think back, it’s gut wrenching from a moment. I miss getting to know who you’d be today.
Would you be Athletic like a couple of your brothers? or would you be more chill and ride the waves of life? Would you be my book worm ?
Would you be tall? Short? Dark hair? Or light hair? Would you have crazy Kallicks like your brothers?
Ugh! Time escapes me. I can not believe for a moment of time you’d be entering into 7th grade. How on earth is time so sweet and bitter all at once.
Ethan not a day escapes me that for a brief moment your sweet life in inhaled into my very being.
Ethan Charles no matter how big the days and times make you in heaven, you’ll always always be my little man. What a sweet life you get buddy, in the arms of Jesus.
I can certainly wait to be with you if only my life would stay as profoundly touched as it has been by your life. I’d chose to do all the gut wrenching pain all over again. Thank you for allowing me to be your mom.
Even crazier to think you’d be calling me mom and not mommy anymore, because you’re 12.
I miss you little man, every minute of every hour of everyday. I will make you proud!
Love,
Mom
