We are back from our camping trip and now I feel slightly refreshed. Well I did anyways.
I picked up our youngest and the smile on his face when I saw him melted my heart. I missed him so much but it was such a nice refresher.
I realized while we are gone all that Ethan would be doing this weekend on his first camping trip. My best friends little girl was there and she was born in April of last yr we were due a month apart.
She was playing in the dirt and making a huge mess, but such a tom boy. Her spirit made me realize Ethan is all around me. I love him so much and my saddness is turning into a little bit of hope for the future.
Then I checked my email and I got a email from my counselor. She wants to at least meet up once before we say enough and say goodbye and process it all.
I want that to but I dont want to be such a mess and going back makes it so much harder to say goodbye or even say ok Im done. I could stay there forever its a safe place where I can be me. I can use her whole box of kleenex and its ok. Heck that box has my name on it. I think I cry more than the normal human.
Im just so tired of my life being so emotional. Really Im beginning to think I have no friends for a reason. Ok I will take that back because I know Im a good friend. But Im tired of all this. I dont get why life has to be so complicated. I ready for a little break at least.
The mountains were beautiful and amazing and I got to spend some time with a good friend, and my best friend and her 3 girls and my family for one last small vacation lol. It was nice and surreal how life is going to keep going on after this weekend.
I love you all thank you for a good weekend despite the cold and the smores rocked, now lets hope I didnt gain all that weight back